New Year, New Word

 Last year my friend Jill told me about a traditon that the women in her family practice. Each year they select a word that they will focus on the next year. I love this. Last year I picked grace. I feel like I grew in my grace towards others and myself, but that will always be something that I need to grow in and will always be a life goal (how could it not be if I am trying to become more like Jesus)

This year I wanted my word to be very focused and I thought a lot about what I would choose. I made lists of words that described my vision for the next year of my life and looked for themes. One of my biggest problems is that I feel like I am a very passive participant in my life. I let things happen and react. I want to be a more active particpant in my life, shaping the future that I want for myself and my family. This takes a lot of thought, intentionallity, and effort. I have been thinking about the words of Jesus in John 10:10, "I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly" What does abundant like look like? There are some very obvious implications of what this verse means but I wanted to dig deeper into what abundance looked like in my life. One of the definitions of abundance is an overflowing fullness. I desire to have an overflowing fullness in many areas of my life but abudance wasn't quite the word I was looking for. I looked up similar words that led me to my word for the year--> Thrive. I feel like thrive captures my desire to to live an abudant, active life.

One defintion of thrive is to grow or develop vigorously; to flourish. A word picture that kept coming to mind was a rose growing from the concrete. A great example of flourishing where you are. I want to flourish in my relationship with my kids and husband. In my relationship with God. In my work. In my health. In my finances.In my circumstances.Where I am at.

A Shamu Christmas

One of my favorite things about having our own family now is creating traditions for our kids. After Moses' first Christmas, Jarrell and I had several conversations about what we wanted Christmas to be like for our children. One of the things that was important to us was the aspect of family and creating memories and formative experiences during the Christmas season. The idea that we came up with was instead of doing a lot of presents we would take a trip each year as a family and do something together. Last year we went to the San Diego Zoo and this year we visited Sea World. Some of our close friends gave us annual passes as Christmas presents and went with us. We were extremely blessed to spend our Christmas with our good friends the Escobedos. 

We stayed in Old Town San Diego which was extremely beautiful. It was the location of the first European settlement on the West Coast of the present day United States. There were a lot of little shops, outdoor markets, Mexican restaurants with women making tortillas right in front of you, and live mariachi music. We ate at a Mexican restaurant that had a balloon man in it and he recreated Moses' Mickey Mouse.

We visited Sea World on Christmas Eve Day and Christmas Day. There were so many fun shows to go to and there was a whole Seasame Street themed area for the kids. The highlight of the trip for Emery was meeting Elmo. She was so excited, we went back three times :) There are some pictures below highlighting the time spent. 

Emery putting on her glasses for the 4D Showing of Polar Express. It snowed inside the theater. Definitely the only snow San Diego will see.

Emery loved the starfish. She wasn't suppose to pull them out of the water though and we couldn't get her to stop!

Our friend bought some fish so that Moses could feed the sea lions but he was too grossed out. I was holding out the fish and trying to show Moses it was okay and a bird came by and stole it.

All of the shows were amazing but the Killer Whales were my favorite. They were so beautiful and entertaining to watch. We saw them up close and I couldn't believe how big they were.

We were really only there to see Elmo but Grover hopped in the picture too.

The babies playing together in Elmo's Bay of Play. They had so much fun throwing these cubes at each other. 

Now that we have done the San Diego Zoo and Sea World, what should we do next Christmas? What are some of the traditions that you do as a family?

Brother+Sister=Best Friends

Now that Emery is older it is so fun to watch her and Moses interact. For the most part, they are the best of friends {until it involves a toy or snack that the other wants}. Emery absolutely adores Moses and wants to be a part of whatever he is doing, which can be quite entertaining since she isn't as developed as he is. I think Moses realizes the power of being a big other and uses it to his advantage. When something is broke, "Mimi did it." When Moses scales to the top of the pantry to get the good snacks it is always because, "Mimi wanted it." It isn't all bad though because Moses feels like he is responsible for Emery and taking care of her which shows me how much that he loves her.

The other night Emery had fallen asleep in the car but we needed to change her diaper. We laid her on the couch while we taking care of a few things around the house. I sat down for a minute and witnessed the sweetest thing in the world. Moses walked by Emery and looked at her sleeping on the couch. Within a few seconds he had a super concerned look on his face and walked away. He came back with Emery's favorite blanket and covered her up. The amount of love in that small, single moment will warm my heart for a long time. My prayer is those acts of love and concern will transfer out of our home and follow him throughout his life to all types of people.

One thing Moses loves to do is boss people around. We lovingly refer to him as the family policeman. This can be good at times because he really helps teach Emery right from wrong, but other times it can cause problems. Yesterday on the way home from Disneyland Moses and Emery were sharing a bag of pretzels. Every time that Emery wanted another pretzel Moses would say, "Say please Mimi." "Mimi, you are not saying please." "MIMI, you can't have a pretzel until you say please." You could see and hear his frustration growing. We tried explaining to him that Emery still doesn't understand certain things because she is little, but he wasn't having it. He moved on from the please but followed it with Emery not saying, "Thank you."

I am so thankful for my two beautiful kids and the things that I can learn from them and that they can learn from each other. 

Big Brother

Little Sister

Recent Fun-Sponsored by the Letter "C"

Crowns, Cookies & Caps

Lately I have been trying to do more intentional projects with Moses that are fun, but also educational. The other day we decided to make crowns out of paper and some elastic. We practiced cutting, taping, and coloring the crown. He did such a great job and loved running around the house pretending to be "King Moses"

A friend from work was selling some items as a fundraiser for her kids for sports, so I wanted to support her in this endeavor. I was really excited because they sold sugar cookie dough that looks like play dough. You can make your creations, bake them and eat them. I knew Moses would be really into this because he loves baking. It came in yesterday and I couldn't wait to bring it  home what Moses wanted to make. Much to my dismay, he said "Mickey's Spaceship" (I am not artistic so I was really worried about how this was going to turn out)

Here was our inspiration:

We got to work and I must say, I was really proud of how it turned out...

This activity was also extremely educational because we were able to talk about colors and shapes. As you can tell, we made Mickey's Spaceship, Mickey, and a couple of stars. 

Emery is turning into such a little Daddy's Girl. Whenever he goes somewhere, she walks into every room in the house calling for him to make sure that he is really gone. Jarrell almost always wears a baseball cap so whenever she sees it, and it isn't on his head she gets worried. She picks it up and says dada and tries to find him to give it to him. I snapped a few pictures of her putting it on though and she looks so cute.

The Best Part of My Day

The best part of my day comes when I walk in the door after work. Moses and Emery are both super excited to see Jarrell and I. Both of them run towards the door (Side Note: Emery running is the cutest thing ever. She can't keep up with herself so she ends up on her tippy toes and eventually falls flat on the floor where she bursts out in laughter) laughing and screaming. Moses usually jumps into my arms and says, "I love you, I love you." Emery says, "My Daddy!" and then we switch. It feels so wonderful to know our kids love us, miss us, and are excited to be with us. 

There is something so comforting about being home. It feels safe and secure here, in the midst of the craziness of life. At times, it can be chaotic and noisy but I wouldn't have it any other way. It means there is life happening here. 

Brother and Sister time. Moses was explaining to Emery about rain and singing
"If All the Raindrops." It is my prayer that they will continue to be good friends
throughout their entire lives.

 

A Good Reminder

As I have mentioned in some previous posts, my health is not great right now. I was feeling worse then normal the other day, so I decided to go to the emergency room. Normally I wouldn't take such drastic measures but it was going to be awhile until I was able to get into a doctor. I knew that I was having problems with my ovaries and I was right. The lady doing the sonogram said a couple times, "I can't believe that you were able to have children."

I didn't think about it too much at the time, but as I drove home those words kept echoing in my head. From the time I was a teenager, I was told I wouldn't be able to have children. Obviously at that time in my life, having kids was the furthest thing from my mind, so it never really bothered me. When my relationship with Jarrell got serious, and I realized how badly he wanted to be a father, I was worried. For the first time in my life, it sank in that more than likely that I wouldn't be able to have his children. I was scared that he wouldn't want to be with me, but we decided that if we couldn't have kids we would adopt. That was our plan, but God's plan was much different. 

A couple of months after having a really discouraging doctor's appointment (once again confirming that I probably wouldn't be able to get pregnant) I became pregnant with Moses. I didn't even know that I was pregnant until 13 weeks because in my mind it wasn't even a possibility. The timing wasn't great, we didn't have the financial situation that we wanted, and we weren't sure that we were "ready" for kids, but none of those things mattered to us because we were so overjoyed with the news that we were going to have a baby! Literally this was the most amazing, life changing news I probably have ever received. 

The sad thing is, I forget too easily how much God blessed us with the ability to have children. I take it for granted and am not thankful enough. I get overwhelmed with the busyness of life that comes with having two babies. I know a lot of people, who's stories don't end the way that mine did and I can only imagine the pain and the sadness that they experience and my heart and prayers go out to them. So, even in the midst of health problems, I was reminded of the amazing miracle that God did in my life. I hope that I continue to remember that woman's words, "It can't believe that you were able to have children" because those words humble me and create a deep gratefulness in me. I can't even imagine what my life would be like without these two amazing blessings:

Keeping It Real

You would think that by now I would know myself pretty well, but I am constantly learning about who I am. Some of the things are really important and are deep into the core of who I am as a person, while other things are small. The small things don't really define me as a person, but are preferences. I have been doing a lot of reflecting lately

We will start with the small things first because they are less personal.

I am a Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf kind of girl. I just wish that hey had a drive thru because it is more convenient with two small children.

I really enjoy reading and wish that I had more time to devote to it.

Coke Zero >Diet Coke. Frozen Yogurt >Ice Cream. Iced Coffee>Hot Coffee.

Now that you are aware of a bunch of useless information regarding me, lets move on to the bigger things. I care deeply about all the people in my life whether they are supporting roles, minor roles, or extras that were in a couple of scenes and never show up again. It was not a surprise to me when I took the Strength Finders Test and got a result of Individualization. You can read more about it with the link, but in a nutshell it means that I love and have the ability to spot the differences in people. They inspire me and motivate me. For each person in my life, this is very true. Each unique print that you have left on my life is invaluable.

At this point and time you may wonder where I am going with this... I have known for awhile, but have recently learned to a greater extent, that I am incapable of adequately expressing my love for people.  I wish that all the people in my life could tap into the part of my heart that is represented by them and see that love, so that I did not have to try to communicate it or try to show it. At times, I fear what this may do to my marriage or to my relationships with my babies as they get older. It is my prayer that God changes my heart and teaches me to articulate my love and gratitude for others in real, beautiful, tangible ways. I hope as time passes, that you all will see a transformation in my life regarding this and will be blessed by it.

Things I Love

There are so many things that I am loving about life lately and I would love to share them with you all.

I have started working out again! This is a really big deal for me because I have always been healthy and every since I have had Moses and Emery, this has not been the case. I went to the doctor a couple of weeks ago and got some not so great news. It looks like I have liver problems (there is still a lot more testing to be done) and he told me that I wasn't healthy. I am not very old and I decided that I was going to take care of myself the best that I can which means I need to eat better and exercise. I have been doing HIIT workouts and running. I will keep you all posted on the results.

I learned how to make traditional Chai Tea and it is absolutely amazing. It is low in sugar, inexpensive, and easy. I am drinking a glass as I write this blog and it makes my heart happy :)

I got my first ever smart phone. I can't believe this is even on my list. My husband had to convince me to get it but I love my new Iphone.

Recently, a co-worker of mine asked me to lead a session at a Junior High Retreat for girls. I am not in love with speaking in front of a lot of people, but I am super excited about this awesome opportunity. The name of the conference is Seeds and is put on by Forest Home Ojai Valley, which is the other camp owned by the camp that I work at.

I have been reading/researching a lot about Henrietta Mears, which is the lady that founded Forest Home. She was an incredible lady and I am blessed to be a part of the work that she started so long ago.  She is such an influential, inspiring lady. There are several books written about her and I just recently finished the one called "Teacher"

Recently I got a haircut that I love. It is shorter and easier to manage.

I am definitely enjoying a slower pace these days. Working in the camping industry you don't have a summer. It is one of the most crazy, intense experiences of your life. I love it, but I am happy to be in a slower season for a little bit which means I get to spend more time with my husband and babies.

So it is nearly impossible to get a picture of Moses and Emery together, let alone a good one, but this one turned out pretty good. Moses is saying "Cheese" and Emery is saying "NO" :)

Moses helping me cook chicken enchiladas. I love his big cheesy smile.

My beautiful baby girl at 15 months.

Why I Am Not A SAHM

I am going to address a topic that is really hard for me to talk about on my blog today...

I am not a stay at home mom. I was the first 19 months of Moses' life and the first 4 of Emery's. I actually only planned on staying home for the first year of Moses' life and going back to work part time, but God had different plans. When Moses was six months old we moved to Southern California when Jarrell accepted a job at Forest Home. We quickly realized the cost of living in California was very high compared to what we were used to and I started looking for part time jobs immediately. I never found a job and I was thankful in a lot of ways because I found out I was pregnant with Emery and wanted to honor the commitment I made to myself to stay at home with Moses for a year, but it was so hard on our family. A job came along for me that was literally PERFECT for me, but it was (and had to be) full time. I knew that this is where God wanted me to be, but it was so hard for me to go back to work.

It has taken me a long time (I have been working for ten months) to be content with my situation. It is not easy for me to leave in the morning and there are so many days that I just want to cuddle up with my babies and call in sick. Days like today help me realize that my job is important, purposeful, and worth the sacrifice. I am truly blessed to work in a ministry that serves 800+ churches in Southern California. I get to see God work in amazing ways through peoples' lives every single day. I get to see God restore broken people. I get to work with an amazing team of people that have answered God's call to serve Him and I get to witness them use the talents that He has given them for His glory. I get to lead a team of people that passionately love God and though they aren't perfect, they love deeply, strive to be better, and teach me how to be a better version of myself everyday. I am thankful for where God has me even though it isn't always where I want to be. God's plan is so much bigger and more purposeful then we can ever begin to imagine. When things aren't going the way you think they should, remember that God is sovereign.

This is a picture of the beautiful place I am blessed to work at...

Just a couple more thoughts...

#1-Please respect working moms. There are so many times that other people (more than likely unknowingly) have made me feel like less of a mother because I don't stay home with my children. They make comments as if I don't want to be with my children or that I have my priorities in the wrong place, which leads me to point number two...

#2-There are so many things we don't know about people, their lives, and situations so don't assume other people's motives. Always believe the best.

#3-Seek to take part in God's Story. It is an adventure full of crazy turns, valleys, mountaintops, and unexpected circumstances but it is worth it.

Proud Mama

Today was a huge day for me and Mimi... Since Mimi was born, she has never successfully stayed in the nursery at church. Well today was the day my friends. I am so proud of her! She cried for about the first ten minutes but then she was fine. {I think her new baby doll helped} I was finally able to sit through a whole church service. She was all smiles when we picked her up.

I think that we may have a future lawyer on our hands. Moses is pretty skilled in negotiation for being two. When he used to ask for something and I would say, "no" he would reply with "just one?" Then I would say, "Zero." It didn't take him long to figure out that he needed more leverage. The other day he asked for something and I said "no" in which he replied, "Just two?" Once again I said, "no" and he replied, "Just one mama?" At that point I had no choice but to give in :) I wonder how long it will take for him to figure out how to ask for more...

This is completely a side note--> It is so crazy how certain songs can invoke such deep emotion in us and even take us back to certain moments in our lives... Are there songs that do that for you?

Mommy & Moses Time

This morning Jarrell decided that he wanted to go to Harry Potter but that wasn't how I wanted to spend my day, so we decided to split up. He took Mimi with him and Moses and I had a little date. We decided to check out the animals at Petco and he was especially fond of the birds, specifically the blue one. I am constantly amazed at the rapid pace in which Moses is learning. He asks questions about everything that is going on around us and is a little sponge.

While we were out I finally found a baby doll for Emery. I have been looking for a soft, mixed doll for a really long time and couldn't find one. A lot of people that I have spoke to about this asked me why I wanted a mixed one so bad. Honestly, I just wanted her to have a doll that looked like her. She absolutely loves the doll and calls her baby. She took her everywhere today and made sure that she had plenty of kisses and hugs :)

Since I got Emery a toy, I told Moses that he could pick a toy. He was so funny, out of all of the choices he chose bubbles that were on clearance! He is definitely a cheap date. It is humbling to see how the littlest things make him so happy and I believe we could all learn to be like him [child like].

We met up after the movie and on the way home Moses was saying the funniest things...

Me {to Jarrell}: Hey Babe

Moses: It's Daddy

Moses: Mimi, where is your baby dolphin? {In reference to her baby doll}

I am tickling Moses and he says, "Enough mama!"

I am so thankful for this beautiful life that I have been given and I want to make the most of each moment, each day. What are some special moments from your day?

Puppies, Jelly Shoes & Art

These things aren't connected at all, just recent happenings in our house:

*It amazes me what kids pick up on-->When we were potty training our puppy Hurley we used to stick out our hand at him and say, "Bad" when he went to the bathroom on the floor. I guess Emery must have seen us do it a lot because she likes to stick out her hand and scream, "bad" when she doesn't like something. It is kind of cute but kind of frustrating at the same time. It drives Moses crazy and he is constantly telling her to stop.

*I absolutely LOVE sales. It is extremely rare that I buy something that is at regular price. Old Navy is having a stock up sale right now and I was able to pick up some cute things for Emery. I got all the clothes and shoes for $25.00! I laughed when I took the picture of all the clothes below because when I found out I was going to have a girl I didn't want very many of her clothes to be pink.

*As I mentioned the other day, our kids are going to a program at our camp in the mornings until we find a nanny. Today Moses was so excited to show me a picture of the craft that he did.

Time of Transition

This week we are completely off our schedule, so it is making life interesting. Our nanny, Kelly, has been with us since I went back to work full time and she left us on Sunday :( We currently have not found a replacement for her. Kelly became so ingrained in our lives that I didn't realize how weird it would be without her here.

Here is a picture of them on St. Patricks Day when Kelly dressed them in green :)

So currently we are using the nursery at camp half days and Jarrell is doing Daddy Daycare for half days :) It is so much fun to hear Moses' stories when I come home from work about his time with Daddy and Mimi. He usually tells me the same things everyday but every once in awhile he adds something new. He loves going to the beach, the pool, the park, and to "see his peoples." Emery is really starting to add more words to her vocabulary too. She calls Moses, "Bubba" which is super cute and now that she is walking she is constantly following him around and wanting to do whatever he is doing.

today.

Even though today wasn't extraordinary I had an amazing day. Some highlights of the day included: Iced White Chocolate Mocha, In-N-Out for lunch, grocery date with Moses, my husband cleaning the house (he even did the dishes!), and cooking one of our favorite dinners.

Emery started walking recently so we decided we needed to get her some walking shoes. We lined up several selections for her and let her pick which ones she wanted. Here is the result:

I had to get these too because they looked

so cute on her l little feet:

She was so excited about them and even fell asleep in the car holding them. When we were transferring her to her crib, she wouldn't let go so we let her sleep with them. Even though she wasn't wearing anything other then a diaper she insisted that she have her shoes on. She must love shoes as much as her mama!

Later in the day, Moses and I went on our grocery shopping date. It is a special time where it is just him and I and he loves to scan all of our groceries in the self checkout line which adds about twenty minutes to our trip, but I love it. Everyone at our neighborhood market know

s him by name and is always giving him treats. On our way to the store we had such a funny conversation...

Me: Moses how old are you?

Moses: Two

Me: How old is Mimi?

Moses: One

Me: How old is Mommy?

Moses: He stops and thinks about it for awhile with a puzzled look on his face and says, "Old!"

He makes me laugh so hard and brings so much joy into my life. I am truly blessed by both of my babies.

When we came home from the grocery store the house was clean and all the dishes were done. I was so excited and it gave me even more motivation to cook dinner. I cooked Pollo Asado with black bean, corn, avocado salsa.

How was your day? What things do you have to be thankful for?

Lions, Tigers and Bears Oh My!

When you live in a forest you tend to have some interesting encounters with the creatures that live here as well. The best part though, is listening to Moses' version of the events that occur.

WILDLIFE ENCOUNTER #1

So about a month ago we were sitting in the living room and heard a bunch of rustling on the porch. I opened the door and much to my surprise this little guy decided to pay us a friendly visit [if you consider eating poopy diapers off someone's porch visiting]...

Moses was actually sleeping but due the the commotion of us screaming and throwing shoes at the bear, he woke up. We shut the door and let him take a peek through the door window and he got super excited and said, "LOOK, baby lion!" I tried to explain to him that it was a bear however he was convinced he was right.

WILDLIFE ENCOUNTER #2

So one of my least favorite things about living in Southern California is...wait for it...the lizards. [I do know to most people that this probably doesn't count as a legitimate complaint]. So they are not big or scary, but they are sneaky, little creatures that scare me constantly. Apparently this has rubbed off on Moses. Today Kelly was taking the kids to the playground at camp and Moses screamed and started crying. Kelly looked down and saw that he was pointing at a lizard. He said, "Zizard scared me! Go away zizards!"

Do you have any fun or scary wildlife encounters?

Girls Are Made of Sugar Spice and Everything Nice

One of my favorite things about having two children is to see how they are similar and how they are different. This is a lot easier now that Emery is getting older. It truly is amazing how unique God created each one of them.

Emery is a mild mannered, content baby who loves her mama {even though she calls me dada}. She has the sweetest little smile, but don't let it fool you, she has a hot temper too-->just like her mama :) She loves to play whether she engages you in peek-a-boo, hide and seek, chase, or making funny faces/sounds. Emery absolutely adores Moses and wants to be just like him. She is a cuddle bug and loves to give hugs and wet kisses. One of my favorite things about having alittle girl is the fact that she LOVES girly things. She is constantly digging through

my jewelry, my makeup, and shoes.

Here are some recent pictures:

Mimi wearing mama headband

Sticking a lot of crackers in her mouth to make brother laugh

Imitating brother using the potty

Showing off her pretty shoes

So happy to be wearing mama's scarf

Fighting with Moses because he is trying to take her scarf

It's Been Awhile

Wow! I haven't posted in forever, since Emery was 10 months old to be exact. She is now 13 (almost 14 months)! I decided that the name of my blog should actually be My Beautiful, CRAZY Life. To be completely honest with everyone, I have lost perspective about life and what it is all about and this is why I am blogging again. I want to take time each day to focus and reflect on the things that mean the most to me {My Jesus, My Family, and My Friends}.

The past week has been full of work but also full of fun. I will give a top five rundown of my favorite memories of this week:

#1- Emery has taken a little bit longer to develop physically than

Moses but she is officially a walker. May I add, the cutest walker ever. She looks like a little zombie because she sticks her arms out in front of her. SO CUTE!

#2- Moses and I went and saw Cars 2 together. It took a little bit of popcorn and candy but he sat through the entire thing (which is a miracle) As we walked out of the movie theater he screamed, "That was fun!"

#3- I ran into an old friend. This doesn't happen much because we live far from most people from the past. It was so fun for her to see how grown up Moses is because she knew me when I was pregnant with him.

#4- Chipotle.Games.Good Company. I had all of my summer residential team over for dinner. I really am blessed by them and it was fun to be able to spend time with them outside of work.

#5- Moses and I went kayaking today and it was so fun.

He looked so cute in his mini lifejacket and oversized paddle. I rarely get to spend one on one time with him and this is an experience that will be burned in my mind forever. As we were walking off the dock he said, "Mama, we just went on an adventure!" I seriously have no idea where he comes up with these things.