A Good Reminder

As I have mentioned in some previous posts, my health is not great right now. I was feeling worse then normal the other day, so I decided to go to the emergency room. Normally I wouldn't take such drastic measures but it was going to be awhile until I was able to get into a doctor. I knew that I was having problems with my ovaries and I was right. The lady doing the sonogram said a couple times, "I can't believe that you were able to have children."

I didn't think about it too much at the time, but as I drove home those words kept echoing in my head. From the time I was a teenager, I was told I wouldn't be able to have children. Obviously at that time in my life, having kids was the furthest thing from my mind, so it never really bothered me. When my relationship with Jarrell got serious, and I realized how badly he wanted to be a father, I was worried. For the first time in my life, it sank in that more than likely that I wouldn't be able to have his children. I was scared that he wouldn't want to be with me, but we decided that if we couldn't have kids we would adopt. That was our plan, but God's plan was much different. 

A couple of months after having a really discouraging doctor's appointment (once again confirming that I probably wouldn't be able to get pregnant) I became pregnant with Moses. I didn't even know that I was pregnant until 13 weeks because in my mind it wasn't even a possibility. The timing wasn't great, we didn't have the financial situation that we wanted, and we weren't sure that we were "ready" for kids, but none of those things mattered to us because we were so overjoyed with the news that we were going to have a baby! Literally this was the most amazing, life changing news I probably have ever received. 

The sad thing is, I forget too easily how much God blessed us with the ability to have children. I take it for granted and am not thankful enough. I get overwhelmed with the busyness of life that comes with having two babies. I know a lot of people, who's stories don't end the way that mine did and I can only imagine the pain and the sadness that they experience and my heart and prayers go out to them. So, even in the midst of health problems, I was reminded of the amazing miracle that God did in my life. I hope that I continue to remember that woman's words, "It can't believe that you were able to have children" because those words humble me and create a deep gratefulness in me. I can't even imagine what my life would be like without these two amazing blessings: