A Glimpse of God's Heart

I ran back into the store and found her this
cute play tutu in hopes of making her smile.

One of the smallest events of our day spoke to me in such a deep way that I haven't been able to keep my mind off of it. Before church we had to pick up wipes and the best place to do it in the area was the 99 Cent Store. This particular one has two coin operated rides out front and immediately the kids were begging me to ride them. I was in a hurry, but told them if the behaved really well in the store that they would be able to go. In the checkout line I exchanged a dollar for quarters and Emery's face lit up. She exclaimed, "I am so excited!" Her face was beaming and she kept clapping and squealing with excitement as she approached the horse. I put Moses on a rocket ship first while Emery carefully selected the horse she wanted to ride on. I walked over and put in my last two quarters and the machine didn't work. My heart sank because I knew how excited Emery was. I ran her over to finish out Moses' ride with him, but she was so disappointed.

Trust me, I know not being able to ride a horse at the store is not a big deal, but it started the thought process. This made me begin to think about the future and the disappointments and potential hardships my children could face. I know there are going to be so many things in this life that I will not be able to control or protect my children from and that is hard. My focus automatically shifted from my fears with my children to God's heart.

So often we see injustice in this world and it breaks our hearts. Sometimes it causes us to question God and His goodness. It causes us to become bitter and hopeless. I remember when I did ministry in the inner city with a friend and being completely broken about the circumstances of the people, especially the kids, that lived there. I remember yelling at God the whole way home with tears streaming down my face. I blamed Him for the terrible things in the world. While I did have a righteous anger, it was directed in the wrong place. As a parent, I have come to better understand God's heart for all His children. Trust me, if the disappointment in my child's face breaks my heart, I can't imagine how the huge injustices of our world break God's heart. We are talking about someone who sent His son to die for us, so that He could be in relationship with us. Trust me, he doesn't take sin, whether our own sin or the sin against us, lightly. He doesn't ignore our tears, it says in Psalm 56:8 "You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book."

With that being said friends, God knows your present and past pain. It breaks His heart as much, if not more, than it breaks your own. He is the only person who can fully comprehend and understand. So whatever may be causing you to doubt his goodness, submit it to Him. Nothing is too big for Him.