Random Rainy Day Thoughts

I am sitting in my office (which for anyone who knows how often I am actually in my office, that this is a miracle) doing neverending amounts of paperwork. I have a million end month reports due by the 5th of Septmeber and for some reason unknown to me, even though we live in a technoligical society, 75% of my reports have to be done by hand. It is pouring down rain so it is kind of the perfect day to do reports because I don't want to go anywhere, anyway.

Since I have been doing paperwork all day, I have been doing a lot of thinking. Some important things, but mainly just random thoughts, so I thought I'd share them with you all (plus I need a break from what I am doing):

 As most of you know, I live in a tiny mountain community. Mountains usually come with some sort of wildlife and that is true of where I live. There are deer, bears, raccoons, mountain lions, bobcats, etc. Since a lot of the mentioned animals are predators, most people have inside pets. So this leaves me with this question...Why does someone that lives behind my house have a ROOSTER? Last time I checked, most people that live in the mountains do not have farms or a need for a rooster, especially one that wakes me up at 5am! This poor little guy may soon lose it's life to an angry bear/ person.

I absolutely can not stand pregnancy pants. I know people that love them and think that they are the most comfortable thing in the world, not me. I have only ever had one pair that I actually like and of course they ripped in an inappropriate place. They never fit well, they stretch out, and they fall down. Maybe one day I will make a line of affordable, cute, well-fitting pregnancy clothes.

Look at my cute little blessings.

Naming a child would be a whole lot easier if there were not two people involved in the process. Especially if one is really stubborn. Enough said.

I recently heard that you shouldn't think about raising kids as a duty or responsibility but that you need to think of it as managing a blessing. Sometimes managing blessings can be really hard.

Sometimes certain situations can be so overwhelming and discouraging. I have been experiencing something like that lately and when it seems like it can't get worse, I end up getting more bad news. Today I had a major realization...just laugh about. So the two other times I got more bad news, I laughed. It feels a lot better.

I never liked Coca-Cola. As soon as I finished delivering Moses, they asked me what I wanted to drink and I replied, "Coke." I continued to love it for a couple months after he was born but went back to not liking it until I had Emery (and for a couple months following) and now this baby. How weird is that? Today I drank a Coke and I loved it.

I am currently taking medication for a horrible sinus infection, but am in the midst of trying to decide if the sinus infection is as bad as the side effects of the medicine. (I would share them with you but you don't want to know.)

Weekend Recap

So we had a great weekend off that was fun, yet interesting at the same time. We live in a small tiny mountain community. Most people use electricity to heat their houses, but up here it is propane. Since we haven't turned on our heat since March, we haven't really been watching our propane levels closely, or at all. The other night my children decided that they were going to McDonald's for dinner and even had their orders ready...I gave in. I had a long day at work, so I figure why not? (Don't judge me)  I am not a fan of McDonalds so I didn't get anything. (Mind you, our tiny mountain community is 20 minutes from anything else and we do not have a grocery store). I came home to cook a fabolous Chicken Parmesean meal for Jarrell and I. I got out all the ingredients and went to turn on the stove. All I hear is click, click, click... We ran out of propane. The people couldn't come until today. That means a lot of take out meals and no hot showers. Let me say this, after taking a couple of cold showers, I am extremely grateful for hot showers and will never take one for granted again.

Sunday was a pretty relaxing day of church and having some friends over for a microwave dinner (you have to get creative when you don't have an oven) and a movie. On Monday morning, I had a doctor's appointment. I was looking forward to this appointment because the past two weeks I've had a lot of testing done for different things like high blood pressure and a risk of gestational diabetes. Luckily, my body has seemed to figure everything out and my pregnancy appears to be back to normal.

After my appointment we headed to Disneyland. The kids were really excited and barely made it through my doctor's appointment. I can imagine when you are 2 and 3 and waiting to go to Disneyland, time goes incredibly slow. I had to mentally prepare myself to have a good attitude about Disneyland. I knew that it was going to be hot (it was 90 degrees), that it would be busier than I wanted it to be, that I would get tired from all the walking and that we were going to have to stay longer because of traffic timing. I am so happy that we went, because the kids had a blast. It is so crazy to me because we have gone so many times, but we always have a different experience. This time Moses was really into everything going on around him, and Emery met Donald Duck for the first time (who is her FAVORITE character).



 

The kids favorite thing at Disneyland. The show has only changed once in 2 1/2 years, but they love it the same each time.

 

 

 Meeting Jake, the Neverland Pirate.

 

My little Monster with the rest of the Monsters.

 

My favorite picture of the day. Emery was so happy and offered to share a Grahm Cracker with Donald. She kept kissing his beak over and over again.

 

Moses on one of the new rides at Cars Land. We were a little disappointed, because this is the only ride he was tall enough to get on. (There were lots of tears involved)



After Summer Plans

Summer is by far Jarrell and I's busiest season at work, which makes it really hard to enjoy all the normal things that other people do in the summer. (Which is one of the reason's that I haven't blogged in FOREVER) While I love my job and the summer season, I am happy that it has slowed down signficantly. With that being said, we are trying to jam in as many summer activities as we can before it cools down and before Baby #3 comes.

Speaking of Baby #3, we still do not have a name! Jarrell and I can not agree on a name. I love the name Berkeley and he loves the name Eleanor (really?!) I also have a list of other names that I like but he doesn't like any of them. She is coming in 8 weeks, which I can't belive! I really hope that we can figure out a name for Baby Girl, I really want to start being able to call her by her name when I talk about her. This is a picture of me at 31 weeks pregnant:



 

So back to our post-summer agenda...Last weekend we stayed the night in Santa Monica with one of our dearest friends and took the kids to the beach in the morning. They both absolutely love the ocean, and despite the fact that we don't live far, we have maybe gone 10 times in the three years that we have lived here, how crazy is that? Here are some pictures from our time:

 

 

 

Next on the list is Disneyland. Our passes have been blocked out for the summer, so we haven't been in months. Earlier this morning Emery was really sad that I was going to work. I told her not to worry becasue mommy would be home Sunday and Monday. She responded by saying, "Go to Disneyland?" How can you say no to that? I have a doctor's appointment Monday morning, so we plan on going right after that. Since the last time we have gone, they opened Car's Land, which I know Moses is going to love! Outside of that, we don't actually have any plans, but I am sure we will think of plenty of things to do like another trip to the beach, a day in Big Bear, and Sea World. 

This Is Me Being Honest

My thoughts are really jumbled, as will this post be as well. It is pretty late (at least for a pregnant lady like me) and I can't sleep because my mind seems to be racing. This will be a very honest post, in which I am not trying to cover up anything, so I apologize if at times it may seem negative, but it is where I currently am right now. Sometimes writing is the only way I can clear my head, thus move on (and sleep).

I am emotional but not in a hormonal way. I have been reflecting a lot on my summer, which in my world really means the beginning of May to current and can't help but feel discouraged. I really love the people in my life. I feel a great level of responsibility for those connected to me. Right now I am in a season where I have absolutely zero to give, and since every area of life is so relational, I feel like I am not doing anything well. I am struggling to be a good daughter, sister, friend, mother, wife, boss, leader,    mentor, co-worker, etc and it disappoints me. I am not able to give anyone my best and am constantly finding myself becoming impatient, distant, irrational, insensitive, and annoyed. These are not words that I would generally use to describe myself and it is tough.

This has lead me to realize that I have unreasonable expectations on myself and in some ways, have created a lack of boundaries in my life, that lead me to being unhealthy. I have a really hard time expressing what I need, or don't need, so I often push those things aside and try to do what is best for everyone else. 

The biggest realization I have had though, is how much I try to depend on myself, my own strength and it is no wonder why I fail. We were never meant to go through this life apart from God. I need Him. I need to do things in His strength. I need to find rest in Him. I need to trust Him more with the people in my life. My prayer through this rough season, is that regardless of my ability to be fully present with those around me, that God would still use me. That He will give me the strength. That He will give me the wisdom in my time and priorities. That He would allow me to give others the grace that He has given me. That He would have others show me grace as well. That He would help me to find rest in Him. 

Lazy Saturday

Today has been such a great day already. It has been a perfect mix of relaxation and productivity. I completely understand why God created a day for rest, because we absolutely NEED it. (I know that some people believe different things regarding the day, the purpose, whether it is still valid, etc. but I am not wanting to get into all of that on my blog). 

This morning I let Jarrell sleep in and tackled baby duty by myself. After he woke up, he let me go back to bed. It was so delightful. Let me tell you, being pregnant, plus working, plus baby chasing, plus extreme heat makes for one tired mama. I woke up to lots of laughing so I thought I would see what was going on. Jarrell had invented this imaginary game where the kids made birthday cakes, cooked them, sang happy birthday, blew out the candles, ate the cakes, and opened presents.  The kids loved it. I sat back, with a party hat on of course, as they went through the whole process for my birthday. Honestly, it is moments like these that I love Jarrell even more. I am not very creative, so I love that he interacts with our kids in these ways. He even made it educational. (As the cakes were cooking they had to count the time until they were ready.) 

For Father's Day, I decided to buy a new camera that not only takes pictures, but also video. We finally received it in the mail (which is a whole different story) and I am so happy with how much he loves it and the quality of pictures and videos it takes. It literally was worth every penny. A coworker is teaching Jarrell some things about photography and he is definitely really excited about it. This is a picture I took of Mimi. 

The last great thing about today so far, came from Jarrell too. He needed to weed eat the yard but couldn't find his safety goggles or his sunglasses. I looked out the window and he was wearing Mimi's polka-dot Hello Kitty baby glasses. I almost took a picture, but figured he would kill me, so I thought I would share it with all of you instead :) I am looking forward to the rest of the day and hope that your day is just as amazing as mine.

All the Small Things

I was reminded today how incredibly blessed I am. It wasn't some big grand revelation, it just became apparent in the really small things.

In terms of being incredibly blessed...I had today off. I love days off because that means family time. We didn't really do a whole lot, but those always end up being the most special days. Moses woke up from his nap and crawled up on my lap and cuddled with me for about a half an hour. I couldn't help but smile the whole time. He is growing up so fast and I know these are the moments that I will cherish forever, so I just let it soak in. Moses doesn't always listen and is bad sometimes, but he really is a sweet little boy who is sensitive towards his own feelings and the feelings of others.


Earlier in the day, I watched Mimi play with her baby doll Mickey Mouse. She got out the baby bath tub and bathed him, gave him a snack, got him some water, tucked him into bed, and sang to him. It was nothing incredible, but it just reminded me that she watches everything that I do. That she repeats the things that I do. That all the small things do matter to her whether or not I feel appreciated in the moment. If they didn't, she wouldn't model that level of care for Mickey.

The most favorite part of my day was watching Jarrell play with the kids. He is such a good father and has such a special relationship with the kids. He gets down on their level and is goofy. I am so thankful for such an amazing husband and father for my babies. I don't know how much basketball you all watch, but we watch a lot of basketball in our house. During the NBA finals this trend called Geek Chic was extremely apparent in all of the players. Moses and Jarrell were taking Geek Chic pictures today and they were cracking me up.

Later in the day we were able to catch up with a close friend who is incredibly special to me. I was so thankful for the opportunity to spend some time with her and watch the kids play. Like I said before, it was nothing too extraordinary but it filled my heart.

Flavors of the Week

This week was extremely busy but filled with many wonderful things the highlights were:

#1- Finding out the sex of our baby and having such a fun gender reveal party. I won't show pictures since I already did a blog post, if you missed it you can read here.

#2- I absolutely love trying new things. A couple of friends and I got thai food earlier this week and followed it up with Boba Tea. I have seen these places, but never have tried it. I am still undecided whether or not I am a fan, but it was still a fun experience. We also ate Mochi. I had Green Tea and Moses devoured a Passion Fruit. He decided to move on to mine and took a massive bite out of it. A couple seconds later it came back out and he said, "Yuck, this taste like salad." Even though I was frustrated that he spit the food all over the table, I couldn't help but laugh.

#3- I absolutely love summer and being near water. The other morning we went and bought a bunch of fun toys to bring to the beach. Moses had so much fun with his big shovel. We were not supposed to swim but Mimi decided to drop face first into the water with all her clothes on :)

#4-The kids have been begging to go to Afro Circus aka Madagascar 3 since they first saw the previews for it. We took them and they loved it ( I thought it was a little weird) but they were happy.

#5-My summer team for work came in this week. They are a great group of people and we have already had so much fun with team building, sky trails, and lots of games. All of them already hold a special place in my heart and I know that is going to be an awesome summer.

I hope you all had amazing weeks filled with special memories.