Proud Parent Moment

This morning I had to take a phone call that I knew would last a while and that was going to be frustrating. Jarrell wasn't home, so I knew I needed something to keep the kids entertained for a while, so I went to my surprise drawer and grabbed some stickers. I also grabbed crayons & paper and got everyone situated at the table. They were so excited about their stickers and I told them to use as many as they wanted.

I went into my room for the phone call. After the call was over, I was indeed frustrated and came back to the table to see what the kids had created. Moses had about twenty sheets of paper and they were all the same design. {Pictured Below}

I asked Moses to tell me about his picture. He looked up at me and said, "That is the cross, like the one Jesus died on. I made these for all of my friends and family because I want them to know about Jesus and that He loves them." He started naming people and asked me if we could mail a picture to them. I was seriously blown away and started crying. 

Parenting can be so hard at times, but moments like this make it SO worth it. I am so thankful for my little guy and the love that he has for all the people in his life. 

286.7 Miles

There are some people in this world that you would travel 286.7 miles to see for a few hours. Some of you may be thinking that isn't very far, which it isn't, under some circumstances. However, my miles were spent traveling roughly 7 hours, through LA traffic (enough said) , accompanied by my 4, 3, & 1 year old. 

A few miles made the rest of the miles worth it. Those were the miles that we spent with a dear friend, adventuring through the hills of Malibu on the windiest, craziest road. The road that provided the most breathtaking view of the Pacific Ocean from the top of one of those hills. The road that led us onto the Pacific Coast Highway and through a portion of "Malibu - 27 miles of Scenic Beauty" in which we rolled all the windows down and took in the fresh air that was fragrant with Eucalyptus. The road that led us to the place where we surprised another dear friend for a long overdue visit. 

Some more precious miles were spent catching up on each others' lives and hearing about stories of hope and redemption. Stories of healing and restoration. Stories of growth and encouragement. Miles spent listening and miles spent feeling understood. Miles of silence, the good kind. 

I am so thankful for this day. It has left my heart feeling full and rejuvenated. It has drawn me closer to God and impressed important truths on my heart. It has reminded me to spend my miles wisely, making each one count. To surround myself around those who love me, for me, and encourage me.

Making a Dream a Reality

As many of you may know, I recently opened an online clothing store called Truly You {Clothing}.  It has been a dream of mine for many years to own my own clothing store & this was the first step in that process. If you didn't know or haven't had a chance to check it out, you can here. I have also included some pictures of some new product below* I was fortunate enough for someone to fund this endeavor for me and even though I had the resources I needed, I was hesitant to make my dream a reality. I would not classify myself as a risk taker and I have an extreme fear of failure. At times the fear of failing can overshadow my deepest dreams and desires. Thankfully I have the most supportive {and talented} husband and he helped me push through. 

I can't even begin to explain the range of emotions that I have felt throughout this process: excitement, fear, joy, accomplishment, defeat, doubt, and fulfillment {just to name a few}. Despite all the emotions, I can say that this process has been worth it. 

I have been incredibly thankful for the people who have supported me in this process through modeling  doing make up, building my website, promoting me, purchasing from me, and giving me words of encouragement when I felt like giving up.  There is no way that this could have happened without all of you. 

One of the greatest challenges I face is getting my name out there and I can't do it alone. This is where I am humbly asking for your help. 

* One of the best forms of advertisement is word of mouth, so if you believe in what I am doing, I ask that you share with people that may also be interested. 

*Obviously I would never want you to purchase something that you don't love, so please don't feel pressure but if you are looking at something similar somewhere else, please consider supporting me.

*I am looking to launch a incentive program that would provide discounts and free product for those interested in having a clothing party. This could be done in person or online. If this is something that interests you, please contact me at trulyyouclothing@gmail.com for more details. 

Once again, thank you all for your support, words of encouragement, and love. 

A Journey to Accept Myself

Through various different outlets, a struggle of my has so clearly been illuminated to me. 

Recently, a friend of mine started a blog called Redeemed Beautiful. It is a ministry dedicated to sharing the Truth about body image, self-worth, and confidence. A Truth that's anchored in Jesus Christ. {taken from the about me section of their FB page). Some of the posts made me realize some lies that I had been believing. 

Next, I was reading a post titled Rainy Day + Flaws by one of my favorite style bloggers, Victoria, at Fashion Flirtation. I loved that she was so open about here flaws and her transparency was so beautiful to me. 

The last place was a flip calendar titled, " God's Heart For You" that my dear friend gave me for

Christmas. It shares spiritual truths & verses for each day.

All of these things together made me quite a mess this morning so I began to pray & something clicked. This was my major realization:

While I do not have to love the weight that I am at, I do need to love MYSELF regardless. It is not my weight that defines me, it is God's amazing love for me. In the same hand, I may not be happy with the weight that I am, but I can't let my weight define whether or not I am happy.

These may be simple truths and may be no brainers for some of you, but this is something that I have struggled with the past five years{since I became pregnant for the first time}.

I can not even begin to tell you how many times I have let my weight insecurities get in the way of living my life. I have very few pictures, I could probably count them on my fingers, of me and my children. When my children are older and look back at their baby pictures, they won't see me.  That is sad. I have stood at the foot of the ocean and watched my kids have the time of their lives running in & out of the water, but refused to join them, because I didn't want to be in a bathing suit. I can go on and on, but I am sure that you get the picture. 

I don't want to let me insecurities hold me back anymore & rob my joy. This will be a journey but I am excited to learn to love myself again, where I am at & where I am heading. 

Tusen Takk {Week of 5.11}

As some of you may know, I am currently reading One Thousand Gifts and keeping a "gift journal" for a year that will record 1,000 gifts, which equates to about 20 a week. You may wonder, what are these "gifts"? They are ordinary and everyday things. They are moments that may mean nothing to anyone else other than you. I am only one week in and am amazed at how many things I have to be thankful for and how this has shifted my attitude. Today I was spending time with a friend and she had Tussen Takk written on her arm. I found out that it means one thousand thanks in Norwegian. I thought this was so fitting for the journey that I am on right now, so I am going to share some of my gifts with you each week in a series titled Tusen Takk. Some of the things that I am thankful for are deeply personal and some implicate the amazing people in my life, whose lives' I don't want to put on blast, so I will just be sharing a few out of the twenty with you. I encourage you to share with me in this journey...

#1- Earlier this week I was sitting on the couch drinking a cup of coffee. Moses was kicking a soccer ball around the living room and stopped all of a sudden. He looked up at me and said, "Mama, do you love me?" I responded, "Of course I love you, do you love me?" He smiled and said, "The MOST" At times parenting can be so hard, but it is moments like these that make it all worth it.

#2- Inspired by a conversation with a friend, I had a very honest, rough conversation with God this week about something from my past. It has been a really long time since I have hashed something out like this and it kind of reminded me of when Jacob wrestled the angel. I felt so free after it.

#3- I was in Target and my kids were on full meltdown mode. They were screaming and crying in line and I was in a hurry to get back to our car because I was so embarrassed. I turned around and saw an elderly lady behind me in an electric cart struggling to get her groceries on the checkout stand. Even though I wanted to get to the cart, I stopped and assisted this elderly lady and she was so thankful. I am usually in a massive rush and I was so thankful for slowing down and being able to help someone in need.

#4-Moses wrote his name by himself for the first time in my Mother's Day card.

#5-I read this article earlier this week about allowing your kids to get bored. It was talking about how boredom leads to creativity. I decided to give it a try and it worked! The kids excitedly called for me to come into their room. They made me take a seat and performed a circus for me. It started by Mimi saying "Ladies and Gentlemen" and Moses saying "Boys and Girls" It was so cute. 

|Virtual| Coffee Date

If we were having coffee this morning, you would probably sense that I am way more relaxed than I have been in a while. We would also be sharing an amazing Black & White that I found at a local Deli, thanks to a friend. {BTW- I am not sure what it is about these cookies but I have been New York Dreaming lately...I must make a trip, but have no idea when or how}

I would tell you how I went away last weekend with a couple of girlfriends and it was exactly what I needed. We stayed at a beautiful beach resort at Mission Bay in San Diego. We didn't have a schedule and that was the most amazing feeling in the world. The night that we got there we unpacked our stuff and laid out by the pool. It was so peaceful and relaxing, and I was even able to read a magazine without interruption! After we laid out, we went back to the room and got ready for the evening. We all packed at separate locations and even picked out our outfits separately, but we ended up wearing the same color scheme...I wish that we would have got a picture. We went out a fantastic fondue restaurant called Forever Fondue in La Jolla. I haven' t ate that much in a long time but everything was so good. After getting lost, thanks to bad I-phone directions, we made it back to our resort in time to go on a moonlight boat cruise that is sponsored by the hotel. We went around Mission Bay and had a lot of great conversation. It was so special to me to be able to spend the time with two ladies that mean the world to me and know me so well. We were able to reflect on the past year, talk about the future, and the ups and downs of life. 

The next morning we woke up late (8am is late for a mama of 3 little kids). We slowly got ready and made our way to a yummy breakfast that we scored for free thanks to my friends charm. After that we laid out for a couple hours, went shopping, and hit up Sonic's Happy Hour. So many of my favorite things, with some of my favorite people, wrapped up into a wonderful couple of days. When I got home, I felt recharged.

This is where we stayed. Isn't it beautiful?

I would tell you how there are some really exciting things happening in our life and would ask you to be praying with me and my family as we navigate them. It never ceases to amaze me how God works and how exciting it can be to follow Him, even if means trusting beyond what you can see.

I would tell you how I am reading a new book called One Thousand Gifts, that was recommended to me by a friend. One challenge of the book is A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are. I am keeping a journal for a year of 1,000 gifts in my life, which is roughly twenty a week. It is incredible how many things I have been missing or taking for granted because my eyes weren't open to them. A friend of mine did this a year ago, and I saw it transformed parts of her life, so I am excited to begin the journey. 

I would tell you how much I have learned to value community over the past three years. How this was something that used to be incredibly hard for me, but that has grown me significantly. 

I Cry

I cry...

Tears for the childhood that was taken from me

Tears for the scars that will never go away

Tears for the debris that still affect me today
Tears for the misplaced shame I feel

Tears for distortion of love

Tears for the destruction of life

Tears for lost hope and doubt of goodness

Tears for those who understand my pain as well as tears for those who misunderstand 

Tears for cleansing and healing 

Tears for restoration and true love

Thankful for God's Word and comfort that comes from His promises.

He will wipe away every tear from their eyes; and there will no longer be any death; there will no longer be any mourning, or crying, or pain; the first things have passed away." And He who sits on the throne said, "Behold, I am making all things new." And He said, "Write, for these words are faithful and true." Then He said to me, "It is done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end. I will give to the one who thirsts from the spring of the water of life without cost. He who overcomes will inherit these things, and I will be his God and he will be My son. (Revelation 21:4-7 NASB)

Be gracious to me, O God, for man has trampled upon me; Fighting all day long he oppresses me. My foes have trampled upon me all day long, For they are many who fight proudly against me. When I am afraid, I will put my trust in You. In God, whose word I praise, In God I have put my trust; I shall not be afraid. What can mere man do to me? All day long they distort my words; All their thoughts are against me for evil. They attack, they lurk, They watch my steps, As they have waited to take my life. Because of wickedness, cast them forth, In anger put down the peoples, O God! You have taken account of my wanderings; Put my tears in Your bottle. Are they not in Your book? Then my enemies will turn back in the day when I call; This I know, that God is for me. In God, whose word I praise, In the Lord, whose word I praise, In God I have put my trust, I shall not be afraid. What can man do to me? Your vows are binding upon me, O God; I will render thank offerings to You. For You have delivered my soul from death, Indeed my feet from stumbling, So that I may walk before God In the light of the living. (Psalms 56:1-13 NASB)

For all who read this, please know I am okay. I struggle at times but find comfort in God. I desire to me honest and transparent about my life because I know that God can use if in the lives of others. Writing can be an outlet and therapeutic for me at times and this happened to be one of them.