I Can't Be Silent

I want to start off by saying that I do not believe for even a second that I am an expert or qualified to write this post.That may lead you to wonder why I would be writing such a post than. I have several reasons that I will share with you.

My heart has been so heavy and I have felt so much righteous anger over peoples’ comments and reactions about what has occurred in Ferguson, MO. I refuse to be silent about a topic that so many people are ignoring. I know that racial topics are hard, uncomfortable, and messy so we avoid them. Not choosing to discuss them doesn’t fix anything though.

Another reason why I feel compelled to  share has to do with experiences that have affected me and people that I love dearly.

Our family was at a local park one day when Moses was not even two years old. This is the first time I ever encountered direct, verbal racism aimed toward my child. The worst part is that it came out of the mouth of another child (I wonder where they learned those words and formed those opinions) To say I was shocked, is an understatement. This really opened my eyes to the challenges my children will face, solely based on the color of their skin.

One day Mimi was watching Barbie on YouTube and I sat down with her. I looked down at the comment section, for no particular reason and this is the first thing I saw (mind you it is a direct quote so grammar is not mine):

"Nikki is my hatest among Barbie's best friends because she is black :\ Barbies are supposed to be perfect, flawless and beautiful , and there shouldn't be a black barbie! I want Nikki to be removed of these series."

This made me realize that my children's perceptions of themselves may be hindered by such comments in the future.

One of the most hurtful came as an attack on my husband's character and called into question his faith in God. This all occurred when Jarrell lovingly pointed out a blind spot in a young person's thinking in regards to racism after several uniformed comments the young adult made. The parents of this individual, people we had called friends and respected, ripped Jarrell apart and we really saw their true colors.

I don't share these stories for sympathy for our family but as a means of insight into how racism still actively affects peoples' lives today. Furthermore, I am fully aware that  my family lives in an area that is mostly racially accepting and we do not face these situations often, as do the people of Ferguson, MO and other places.

My main hope in sharing is this... Just because you don't experience a certain reality, doesn't mean that reality isn't true for someone else. In order to understand someone else's reality, you need to approach it with an open mind and a willingness to understand.

I know that we are not aware of all the facts in Michael Brown's death, though many more have been released tonight. I do not condone looting and/or violent protests. I think it's easy to get wrapped up in all the details that aren't the real issue. My hope is that through it all, you would strongly consider a few things.

#1- Michael Brown was an unarmed black male shot by a police officer.

#2- Victim shaming is never okay and regardless of other issues in Michael Brown's life, he was still an unarmed black male

#3- While some of the methods have been poor, we need to look at the people of Ferguson and realize that they are frustrated and fed up with a system that continues to fail them and countless others. Instead of quickly judging them, we should rally behind their cause, which is so much bigger than an isolated incident. Maybe their anger would begin to subside when they realize they are heard, understood, and are not alone in this fight.

Whether you realize it or not, If you are white you have privilege due to your skin color. It needs to be acknowledge and turned into action for people who do not have this privilege, especially in you are a Christian. 

Our Miracle

Now that we have made the "official" baby announcement, I wanted to share the miraculous story. Anyone that has talked to me in the past year has been so shocked by the news since I was very open about being done having kids. Don't worry, we were just as surprised as you!

After LO was born, we chose an IUD as our method of birth control. I was told by my OBGYN that it was the most reliable method and that we wouldn't have any issues. Fast forward to 1.5 years later. I was out running errands with the kids one day and my water broke. Yes, my water broke, which was very confusing because I didn't know I was pregnant and even if I was,  my water shouldn't be breaking. I knew something was wrong so I went to the emergency room. They did some intake testing and took me down for an ultrasound. As I was laying on the bed, the lady asked, "How many pregnancies is this, including this one?" I literally flew off the table. They forgot to tell my upstairs that I had a positive pregnancy test. My mind was racing. They informed me next that having an IUD could cause all sorts of complications and they needed to do testing.

The ultrasound indicated that my amniotic fluid was very low (almost non-existent) and that the baby's heartbeat indicated stress. I was told that I was going to lose the baby, since it couldn't survive without amniotic fluid. Talk about all sorts of emotions at one time. The ER doctor strongly recommended getting the IUD taken out by my OBGYN the next day (they don't take them out in emergency rooms). It is super controversial whether or not to get an IUD taken out if you become pregnant, and there are pros and cons to both. I prayed all night and decided that I needed to get the IUD taken out.

When I went to my OBGYN the next morning, he confirmed all the bad news of the pregnancy. I requested that he removed my IUD and he didn't want to, but I was very confident in my decision. He did an ultrasound and realized the IUD is what ruptured my membranes so he agreed to take it out. He scheduled me to come in for a follow up ultrasound 5 days later and put me on bed rest. 

I came back in for my ultrasound and you will not even believe what happened! My amniotic sac resealed itself and filled with an appropriate level of fluid and the baby's heartbeat was fine! At the stage of pregnancy that I was in, only 5 out of 200 times membranes reseal. 2.5% people! Talk about a miracle. My mind was blown. 

As of now, the baby is doing well. I just had a check up and the heartbeat was great. I currently have a blood clot on the placenta and will be going in for an ultrasound Tuesday. God has been so good and faithful so far, and I am trusting that this will resolve itself as well. 

As far as I am concerned, Baby Peak #4 was meant to be. This baby is a fighter and I can't wait to see what he/she will be like. 

P is for Pizza

A couple of months ago, we went to a Children's Museum in Palm Springs. The kids had a blast and have been asking to go back almost everyday. One of their favorite parts of the museum was a pretend Pizza Store. It was adorable and they played in it for hours.

Since it isn't practical for us to go to the museum often, I thought it would be fun to recreate this experience at home. I made the following items out of paper plates and construction paper. 

Toppings: Shredded Cheese, Pineapples, Peppers, Olives, and Pepperonis. 

For the crust we used the circle part of paper plates

For the sauce we used circles of red paper

Of course you always have to wear aprons when you cook so we put those on and created pizzas. We "baked" them in the oven, used a timer, and even used money to pay for them. They had such a blast! Several times, they said "You are the best mommy in the whole world!" The total price of this project was less than a dollar. 

I am going to remake the crust, sauce, and toppings using felt because a certain LO decided eating the paper was fun. For the next time, I am going to pick up some paper chef hats at the local cooking store and let the kids decorate them. 

Not only was this fun for the kids but reinforce several concepts that we have been learning like colors, shapes, and letters. (This week we are working on the letter P so we talked about pizza, pineapple, peppers, and pepperoni)

What are some of your favorite activities to do at home with your kids?